| dynamic entry! |
[28 Jul 2006|04:06pm] |
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music |
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65daysofstatic |
] |
i'm changing my band's name to "blase tempo" 'cause it means more to me than spttotwh.
and we're having another practice this up and coming week and hopefully after that we will record a song or two.
most likely gonna be i am healing and eagle of east.
long time no see kiddos.
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| songs i write. |
[06 Jul 2006|11:10am] |
a bunch of songs i wrote that i felt sharing with y'all.
our kyds are the future.
aspirations have sent them tumbling head first over a cliff, but at least they've managed to grab onto a branch, swinging desperately in the breeze, each one holding on for dear life to the other's ankles.
time travel makes flowers wither.
it's moments like these that make me wish! wish the past was worth reliving...
as time... we're never given enough.
feathers, something of comfort, brush across my face...
scratches, so many scratches...
how unpleasantly awkward this sunken earth has become...
still, we lay on the exhausted ground.
and everything... everything has changed. (everything has changed!)
everything but your dying heart-beat buried in unforgiveness.
thus, i no longer wish to be haunted by such moments as past has unwillingly collected.
yet, in retrospect, i wish i had the chance to say goodbye.
left hand cuts the right.
the light! it speaks!
although misunderstood.
represented by our vital existence, our wisdom, our "sins"...
still, misunderstood.
gazing at your reflection, as if the mirror were a canvas, begin to paint yourself into coma.
in reverie, are you enlightened of the hypocrisy to your right?
unconcious, subconcious mind, speak bliss into the ears of those who indulge.
one can be without the other.
eagle of east, wolf of west.
a sea of gravel, engorged.
i am healing, healing slowly.
self-chastisement, self-correction, self-loathing, self-progression.
the satisfaction from this sequence of events...
it's my best kept secret from you. (i think it's revision.)
a fierce storm's fucked up premiere.
a course we were once entitled to pursue.
absence to ashes.
i am given infrequent, enshrouded happiness.
time is of the essence.
speak now or forever hold your head under the wave of circumspect.
medusa.
not finished yet. ;p
^___________^
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| utopia. |
[29 Jun 2006|04:35pm] |
life is good.
now all i need is a girlfriend. :}
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| post-past. |
[22 May 2006|01:03am] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the devil wears prada |
] |
despite the fact that everyone is basically forming friendships/relationships beyond me...
i feel as though i'm incapable of preventing this from happening based upon a few things, but that is of which a matter not even my intellect can yet comprehend.
there are those of whom which partake in activities that both him or herself and i can enjoy.
and then those who take me for granted.
as i should be taken for granted, because i keep everything and nothing inside of me.
i'm still encompassed by fear of risk.
things could even turn out well for me, but it's my self-conciousness that confines me to become mute.
for those who don't know i dropped out of school.
life is too hectic for me, at the moment.
let's leave it at that.
i know all of this could ward off any potential future relationships, and quite frankly, i don't blame anyone who is offended.
i just wish there was something i could do to change that.
because there's only one person right now i wish could depend on me, and i her.
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| phight. |
[11 Mar 2006|02:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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iuno |
] |
| [ |
music |
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wecamewithbrokenteeth |
] |
i just got back from some east haven park with silver! <3
it was amazzzzing.
and her little brother is so cute, awww.
ANYWAYS.
we were roaming about and went into some woods and silver kept falling while climbing this rock thing, and i broke this huge branch off a tree without even trying.
obv super tuff.
then we went back to the playground and waited until these demon children left this immitation shitty wheel swing.
and i was sitting on it with silver, but then i got up and she fell - haha. :x
and this little girl was sitting on her sister's lap on the swing face her, and i kept saying how funny it would be if she just flew off to her doom.
AND SHE DID ROFL.
she wouldn't shut the fuck up, though. :|
damn her...
we tried climbing some unscalable tree, too.
didn't work.
and then we went on those like spring-loaded horse things.
i kept trying to break it and i was going in all different directions.
it was so fun. :}
and then we managed to get on the swings and we were swinging and i jumped off and silver took a pic of me.
oh, and i took her pic in some like plastic see-through mechanism.
when we were leaving silver mounted (:xxx) her dad's motorcyle and he took a pic of her disgruntled face, too.
IT WAS FUNNN.
i never have enough motivation to update this shit.
i may go to danbury empress to see with all sincerity and the jonbenet tonight with jimi, though.
and sean mckay wants to start a death metal band with me.
SIQQQQQ M I RITE?!!11_!_@r$%#&u$
and silver may come over later for a little bit.
( park action! )
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| blessed. |
[04 Mar 2006|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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mikoto |
] |
i'm the most fucked up human being i've ever met, and i fucking love it.
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| mxmxrow. |
[01 Mar 2006|12:50pm] |
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mood |
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achey |
] |
| [ |
music |
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dj paedofile |
] |
first and foremost: CHERRYPOPPINGROOFIESFORJAH.
in other news. :D
i got a new computer the other day...
stats:
amd athlon 64x2
dual-core processor 3800+
double layer 16x multi-format
1024mb ddr
250gb hd
9-in-1 digital memory card reader
nvidia geforce 6100
2.00ghz ram
das wussup.
i stayed home from school today.
so did jimi and joe o'toole.
really boring.
all i've done this morning is dl mass amounts o' music like always.
i'm almost up to 4,000 files!
fuck yes.
only... 9,000 more to go to compensate the loss of my 13,000. :}
i wanna be with my friends. :[
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| beat. |
[24 Feb 2006|12:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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lol'n |
] |
| [ |
music |
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through the eyes of the dead |
] |
i'm sick again.
what else is new.
and today was a terrible disappointment.
i was really looking forward to seeing brittany today, but turned out she had to do something else.
aka go to a show with her sister.
yuuuuck.
maybe sunday, i guess.
i didn't have to go to my psyche appointment today, either.
so what if i'm angry, or extremely miserable/depressed, or all i can think about is killing people.
that's perfectly normal, damn you.
i left to go over jimi's around 5:00pm, i think.
we've just been playing stepmania the whole time, basically.
and listening to some siq mosh music.
now he's making the most crucial beats on his keyboard next to me.
i really can't wait to make some fucking music with this kid and brian.
it's gonna be death all over.
no, but really, i'm blown away but the shit he does with a keyboard.
fucking phenomenal.
i was trying to take some pictures with jimi's digicam, but it's broken.
or the battery is dead - iuno.
i must admit, i look rather cute today.
silver is aggrivating the shit out of me.
feels like she has no time to talk to the only person who ever listens and tries to help her.
great.
whoa jimi just turned into a zombie and tried to bite my neck - lmfao.
alright, i'm out.
PZZZ.
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| gr1m. |
[21 Feb 2006|07:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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eager |
] |
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music |
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dying in sin |
] |
elise came over yesterday around 1:00pm to watch ichi the killer with me and eat ramen, but her parents think i'm a rapist i guess so they picked her up way too early - gay.
so then around 4:30pm silver came over, and we watched most of ichi the killer but i got bored since i saw it only like 3hrs ago.
and then i made her eggy ramen. >:}
and then we watched transporter 2.
soon it was like 11:00pm, so i just asked my mom if silver could sleep over.
we did a bit of interweb interaction, went to go watch attack of the show!, and then went to bed.
woke up this morning around 8:30am, and basically did nothing but interweb/music/doom all day until 4:30pm when silver left.
i took a nap somewhere in between.
it ruled...
i was looking forward to seeing brittany thursday, but then i remembered i had a psyche appointment. >:O!
although she wants me to come tomorrow... i don't think it'll happen tomorrow.
SIIIIGH.
AND WTF I WAS S'POSE TO SEE KIRBY TOMORROW BUT HI2U DUMB WORKING PARENTS OF HERS.
actually, i was s'pose to hang out with sara mayko today and raise hell in her vehicle but obv that didn't happen 'cause she had shiz t'do.
i'm really bored.
and i redl'd stepmania.
soon i'll have smo, and if y'catch me on my username will be palatka.
becoming a murderer sounds pretty awesome.
you get praise.
i like that. :}
edit: oh, sweet...
i coughed up blood not too long ago, and managed to fill the whole rag with it.
there's not an inch left of yellow on it.
all red.
only four coughs.
lots... o'... blood.
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| fe'e. |
[20 Feb 2006|09:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the kodan armada |
] |
i think i may have a tapeworm.
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angerrr's journal
